Dan and I met working in a restaurant. WOW, so cool, right? 😉 We were both servers and he was the cutest thing I’d ever seen and he smelled soooo good (I truly think that is a huge part as to why I liked him jk lol). We didn’t start dating until a year or so after we both quit working together & for me personally, I knew he had to be mine muahahahaha. Don’t get worried I’m not that crazy, but I had to at least give it a shot, so, I texted him. I sent him the old ‘hey, you want to grab lunch sometime?’ Super creative. He said yes and we had our first date at Chili’s. As you can probably see, Dan and I are super romantic people. Nah, we’re not, but we’re so much alike. Oh and one more important detail, we both ordered a quesadilla and took maybe one bite a piece because ya know, the whole I may get crap in my teeth or my breath might smell problem. Now that’s love because I adore (yes, adore) food and I never let food go to waste.
Ok, moving on. On our first date we found out we were the same person just different genders haha. We both grew up in similar Christian homes, we loved God, we were both weird as all get out. we loved Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, we didn’t take life too seriously, we were both free spirited (he is way more logical than I am though), we agreed on politics. kids, traveling, money and pretty much anything else you can think of. I remember thinking holy freaking moly, I found my human.
Now let me back up a minute. I said we weren’t romantic, but I kind of lied. A month or so into us dating, we were watching a movie one night and Dan told me to come along with him. We walked down my road and onto the main road where we stopped under a traffic light and just danced together. Under the stars with nobody around and um, yeah I died. Not by getting hit by a car but by ‘dying’ on the inside, because c’mon, this guy was amazing!
Dan and I dated for about five years before he popped the question. And in those five years we went through a lot; divorce, me taking care of my grandma who ended up passing away, his grandma passing away along with his aunt, we navigated through dysfunctional family life, taking care of siblings, me struggling with anxiety, struggling to find our calling and just trying to figure out this crazy thing we call life. He never gave up on me though and I never gave up on him. We saw how each other acted in crisis situations and it only brought up closer together.
Dan and I have been married for almost five months, so yeah, we’re practically marriage professionals. I’m totally kidding, we’re obviously not. But there have been a few things I’ve already learned that have helped us tremendously, and maybe they’ll help you if you’re a newlywed or engaged. Oh and by the way, Dan and I didn’t live together until after the wedding so we didn’t know what it would be like to spend so much time together. Good news, it’s awesome. Well anyways, my advice to a newly married couple would be:
- Don’t take life too seriously. Life is short so try not to sweat the small stuff. If he leaves his dirty clothes crumpled on the floor, big whoop, pick them up and throw them in the wash
- Laugh constantly
- Be selfless- now this is a tough one because it’s easy to reciprocate the attitude our spouse is giving off. If he’s being a turd, well then gosh darn-it, I’m going to be a turd too. Try not to do that. When he’s struggling, you pick up the slack and vice versa
- Have the same values (or at least respect each other’s opposite view point) when it comes to money, religion, kids, politics, family, traveling, jobs etc. If you agree on the major life topics, there will be way less arguing
- Always remember you’re on the same team
- Say ‘I love you’ every morning and every night
- Pray for each other
I think it’s all about trying to be the best wife/husband you can be, every day. Don’t get me wrong, marriage can be really hard but it is and should be the best decision you make in life. God designed marriage to be great and He wants it to be great. You just have to put hard work into it and find what works for the both of you. Every marriage is different, so you can’t expect it to be just like your friends. But hey, that’s kind of cool.
I don’t want to keep rambling because I totally could. I’ll save a few other relationship goodies for another blog post. But hopefully this helps you get to know Dan and I a little better 🙂 Thank you for following along! You’re awesome.