I’m a notorious people pleaser. Anyone else? I mean, it used to be almost debilitating for me. I had to make everyone happy. No joke, everyone. I had to make sure everyone was not only happy with themselves but happy with me. I wanted everyone around me to be constantly proud of me. Constantly rooting for me. Constantly encouraging me. But you know what? Life doesn’t always work like that and that’s not a healthy way to live. We’re not living for the approval of this world, we’re living for the approval of God.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for The Lord, not for men” Colossians 3:23
Loving others is an obvious must. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” John 15:12″. But pleasing others is not what we were called to this earth to do. God didn’t create you to win over the approval of others. You already have His approval and that’s all you need. The approval of others won’t make you feel worthy, it may temporarily, but the only one who can make you feel truly worthy and knows that you truly are is Jesus.
People pleasing can and will hold you back in life. Trust me, I’ve done it. I remember reading in a self-help book (can’t remember the name right now) how growing up in an alcoholic home usually leads to daughters becoming people pleasers. Growing up in an alcoholic home is full of dysfunction and the unknown, so I think for me, I wanted to be able to control others and control their emotions. I know now that’s impossible, but that didn’t stop me from trying. When you’re young and everything seems to be out of your control, you’ll try to control anything and everything you can to make yourself feel like you are in control of something.
You have to prioritize YOU! Jesus comes first and then your spouse if you have one, but then it’s YOU girlfriend! You don’t have to feel guilty focusing on you and what you love and what you desire in this life. That’s exactly what the big guy upstairs wants for you! And remember, He knows your worth and He says you’re worthy without any one else’s approval.
“Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts” 1 Thessalonians 2:4
God created each and every one of us unique and in His image. We all have different beliefs, passions and opinions and those are what make us who we are! If we’re worried about upsetting someone, we hold ourselves back from growth, from our passions and we hurt ourselves by not speaking the truth and telling others how we really feel. You deserve to be able to be honest! Quit worrying about what one person, five people, 100 people may think of you and start focusing on the one who is always in your corner- Jesus!
Now give yourself some grace. It’s hard to go from full blown people pleaser to someone who’s confident in everything they believe overnight. It’s a process, but it’s a good one and a healthy one. You’re not alone either. You have me, I know how you feel, and you have Jesus who’s rooting for you and knows how amazing you are!